Pigs in Crisis

You know the story of the three little pigs. The third pig saved the day, right? The third pig was the smartest, right? Well, yes and no.

It turns out that the third pig reached beyond his means to build the brick house. Along with it came a hefty mortgage and home equity loan that created a debt greater than the value of the house. In good times this was not a big issue, but troubles began when the recession hit.

Workforce cutbacks in hours for the third pig put a tremendous strain on his finances. In time he was laid off. Searching high and low he was unable to find steady employment at all, much less of the same caliber as his previous position.

In short time he could not make his mortgage payments. The bank foreclosed on his wonderful brick house and he was forced to move out.

Simply put, a well-educated, well-employed pig does not earn enough to afford a brick house. Whereas the old mortgage rules made it possible for pigs to reach above their means, the housing crisis and new mortgage rules have made it virtually impossible for pigs to obtain a brick house loan. They are only qualified for buying houses of straw or sticks.

And that is the crux of the crisis.

Pigs with brick houses provide shelter from big bad wolves. Even if not living in brick houses themselves, pigs always knew someone who did and could seek shelter if the wolf came knocking.

Now, that is no longer the case. Pigs cannot qualify to buy brick houses and those who owned them have been getting foreclosed upon and evicted in record numbers. Wolves are having a field day and the pigs are essentially defenseless.

Some pigs choose to live on hog farms where they get free room, board, and protection. However, those pigs pay the ultimate price. It is well known that pigs are not diligent in reading the fine print on contracts, so they always focus on the free benefits section and overlook the part describing their ultimate fate.

So if you think the recent mortgage reforms are completely sensible, consider the poor defenseless pigs out there in the world.

Next installment...

Pigs tap the black market for guns: Why background checks unfairly disqualify pigs from legitimate weapons purchases

Stealing Christmas

No, we're not talking about the Grinch here.  And to fast forward, I did not actually steal Christmas.

My ideal Christmas shopping experience happens online.  No driving, no parking, no crowds, no hassles.  Having a well-defined list of targets makes the experience that much better.  "Browsing" a store virtually just to look usually isn't fun for me.  I prefer to search, compare prices, execute the transaction, then move on with life.  Simple, easy, effective.  My definition of shopping joy.

This year I was especially prepared.  Great, well-defined list loaded with cool items and no "must have product of this year that everyone wants but the manufacturer didn't make enough so people stake out store delivery trucks and bid outrageous amounts on eBay to obtain".

Search, find, purchase, next item on the list, repeat.  It's just that easy.  Well, it was easy to start but there was an unexpected obstacle thrown in my path.  American Express did not approve of my shopping style.  At one point they decided to stop authorizing my transactions.  I wasn't spending thousands of dollars nor was there any kind of a credit issue.  Nope, they just stopped me cold.

I received an email from their fraud protection group stating that suspicious charges were identified and that I needed to call them before I could continue using the card.  I'll spare the details of that experience, but I can say that the whole process took about an hour.  In terms of physical shopping an hour is nothing, but in my ultra-efficient online shopping zone that probably added about 50% to my total shopping experience --- a serious performance hit.

Through this something became readily apparent.  My style of Christmas shopping probably looked much like someone who had stolen a credit card.  Quick purchases of really cool electronics, sophisticated gadgets, and trendy footwear.

They thought I was stealing Christmas.

I guess next year I need to rethink my shopping plan and spread out the purchases, like a good, patient criminal would.

Final note to AmEx:
I have mixed feelings about your concept of fraud protection.  As a consumer, I am protected from fraudulent purchases, so as much as you try to frame it as "we're looking out for you and you should thank us" what you're doing is protecting yourself to the detriment of your customers. Really, you didn't protect me here but instead made it inconvenient for me to use your product.  If you're going to cut me off like that then give me an easy way to tell you a purchase is legit.  Right now you make people call you to answer some questions.  That was painful.  One reason I love AmEx is because of the purchase protection and extended warranty benefits.  But throw roadblocks in my ability to actually use the card and I'll switch to that other card sitting in my wallet.  So, simple message: Make it easy for the customer... the real, legitimate, I'd like to buy stuff now customer.