The Pedestrian Contract

I stopped my car to let you walk across in front of me. Maybe I had to, maybe I didn't... doesn't matter. At that point we've entered into a contract. My responsibility has been fulfilled – I stopped.

Now it is your responsibility to cross as quickly as possible given your size, stature, and physical condition. You are not to leisurely stroll across. No talking on a cell phone if that impairs your ability to walk. No hands waving, back slapping, shoulder punching, turning around interactions with friends. And last but not least, do not cross on a diagonal. If you learned nothing in school, the hypotenuse of a triangle is never the shortest side.

My goodwill has a time limit. Perhaps I'll mount a countdown timer to the front of my car, like you see in crosswalks. That way you'll know just how much time you have before these wheels start rolling again.

Your honor, I fulfilled my obligation. The decedent breached the contract.