My Dog Knows Customer Service

My dog Bobby can teach you a lesson about how to keep your customers happy.  Really, he can.

First let me set the scene.  At our house we have an invisible fence that keeps him in the yard, so as a result he's able to roam freely in the front and back yards.  He loves to hang out on the front porch and when it's not too hot he loves to lay out on the driveway.

As is common almost anywhere, there are delivery vehicles that pass by on a regular basis.  If a delivery was being made to our house I would usually call Bobby inside to avert the confrontation between dog and delivery person.  Drivers come equipped with dog treats to help them make the peace, but that doesn't always work.

One thing I noticed over time is that the UPS driver would slow down and throw a treat to Bobby on the driveway even if he wasn't going to make a delivery to our house.  The purpose became clear – he was building goodwill.  Brown truck + person in brown uniform = treat = happy feeling.

Now let's compare this to the FedEx drivers who don't provide treats unless they have a delivery and even then not every time.  I received a call recently from a FedEx guy stating that he was trying to make a delivery but that the dog would not let him on the driveway.  Apparently Bobby really didn't like this guy.  And why should he?  This person was a complete stranger and there was no positive association with a white delivery truck, only brown ones.

The UPS drivers in my area made an effort to continue building a relationship even when there was no immediate business associated with it.  The FedEx drivers did not.  The result is that Bobby had a better impression of UPS than he did of FedEx.

Think of how this applies to your customers.  Do you do the little things to keep your customers engaged and provide them with perks (“treats”) even when you're not selling them something?   If you don’t then you should.  That way when you try to sell them something the next time, you can be greeted with a wag and “let onto the driveway” or at least have a better chance at success as opposed to being barked at and kept shut out or at best having a difficult time achieving your objective.

Bobby is available for customer success consulting.

Mondelez is the new Mississippi

Kraft spun off its snack food business into a separate company, which means they had to come up with a name for that new company.  They decided to eschew the route of hiring a marketing agency to help find a new name and decided to solicit suggestions from their own employees.

After sifting through thousands of suggested names they settled upon the name Mondelez.  Yep, Mondelez.  Really, that’s what they decided was the best.  Makes me wonder if they sorted the list with worst on top instead of best.

It is pronounced mohn-duh-LEEZ.  Officially, the emphasis is on the last syllable.  I think the emphasis should be on the middle syllable instead – DUH.

The name is a combination of two words that mean “world” and “delicious” in several languages.  At least that was their interpretation.  After some crack investigation, I found that a small Pacific island where that name means “gullible sheep”.  (I haven’t figured out how you determine the difference between a gullible and non-gullible sheep, but that’s a different topic.)

When you name a company you have to conduct a trademark search to find out if that name is used anywhere else by another company or even sounds or is spelled similarly to another company or product.  On this one I think the search took about 10 minutes.  I hope the trademark search company was paid a fixed fee instead of by the hour.

One big problem is that all the good company names are already taken, so a company that needs a new name is forced to wander off into the land of made up mash up words.  The goal is usually to find some really cool name that conveys the history and mission of the company in three syllables or less.  That’s a tall task, for sure, but you have to know when to keep searching.

The company I work for went through a name change last year.  In the search for the perfect name we came up with many, many really, really bad names.  A few of these really, really bad names came frighteningly close to being “the name” but fortunately they were eventually ruled out.  Even the winning name wasn’t an instant success, but the heart did warm to it over time.

Growing up in Louisiana we were often low in categories that you’d rather not be low in, such as education.  No matter what, though, there was one saying that we could always take comfort in: “At least we’re not Mississippi”.  I imagine that people in Alabama used that one as well.  The point is that we may be bad, but someone else is worse.

That’s why Mondelez is the new Mississippi, at least in the corporate world.  No matter how bad the name of your company sucks, you can always say “At least we’re not Mondelez”.

Deceptive Product Labeling

Previously, I shared an example of a Happy Product Design.  Take one mundane syrup bottle, add some creativity, and voilà you make something unexpected and interesting.

Now for an example of the "dark side" of product design, specifically in the labeling.  Not dark in a truly evil way, but definitely on the shady side.  Here it is...

The text "40% More" is prominently displayed on the label.  Now read the fine print... "than our 14 oz".  Ah, now you see.  They're not saying "40% Free", they're just saying "40% More".  And, surely enough 20 oz. is 40% more than 14 oz. (after rounding).  It's a mathematical exercise.

And guess how much this product costs?  Why yes, it costs about 40% more than the 14 oz. version.

Many people are tuned to look for labels with "40% More", "25% More", etc.  Often people don't notice that the word "Free" is missing and reach for the product thinking they're getting a bargain, but they're not.  That's what the manufacturer is counting on to boost sales.

Even if you do figure out that you're not getting anything extra for free, the prominent "40% More" text will get you to notice this product above others because we're trained to look for deals and at first glance this one matches the pattern.

This is not unique to French's mustard - not by any means.  I've seen many more examples of this before.  In this case, I like the product and a stunt like this doesn't change my likelihood to buy it.  So no harm done, right?  Well, not in this case, for me, but for other products it could definitely have an impact.

So what's the lesson?  Read labels carefully and understand what you're getting.  Or don't do it and live your life being manipulated by evil product labeling designers who laugh at you.